Part One: Approved.

So. Real things have been happening in the Embry Adoption world. Real, exciting things. We submitted our official application to the agency and received word this week that it was APPROVED. What does that mean? It means a whole lot more paperwork for Derek and I, and it means a whole lot of fundraising needs to happen STAT. 

We have 90 days to complete this second application, and when we do, we owe $400. The agency then has 30 days to approve the second application, and GOD willing they do, we will owe our first set of agency fees and the home study fee. That's where real, scary numbers come into play.

We plan to do a few fundraisers throughout the course of our adoption. We are really taking a leap of faith that we will be able to do this with the help of our families, friends, and this great community we are a part of. Here's some food for thought:

"My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed him." -Derek Loux

So why would we want to do this? To put a humungous financial strain on our family? To completely exhaust all of our energy and savings into something that may or may not work out? Because we KNOW that there is a child out there that is waiting on us to come get them and bring them home. To our home. To their home. We don't know HOW we know this, but we couldn't be more sure of it. We refuse to let money stand in the way of giving our child a family. 

With that said, this is a call to action to YOU! Our friends and family. Our biggest supporters. We ask that you keep us in your thoughts during this process. We need all of the support we can get. Not everyone can adopt (although I totally think everyone should at least CONSIDER it!), but you can help in some way or another. If your thing is praying, pray! If it's donating, donate! If it's advocating, advocate. If you don't really have a "thing", then just be there for us. We have never needed your support more than we do right now.

Opportunity

Last week opportunity knocked and I answered. I've been stuck in neutral lately, trying to conjure up scenarios that would allow us to afford an adoption. Sometimes an elaborate plan isn't needed. Sometimes it's just good old perseverance. 

Nine months ago (See: NINE.), I was approached about an opportunity at the clinic to work for a group of doctors full time rather than prn (which has ranged from 0-6 days a week- no stability). One of the doctors in particular went as far as writing a proposal to the powers that be in efforts to help me secure a job in his office. Nine months passed. Nine. Months. I have all but forgotten his valiant efforts- until last week. 

At ten minutes till check out time, I got an email from the boss: 

"See me before you leave today". Great! Nothing like a little discipline to top off the already craptastic week I was having. I honestly felt sick walking in to her office. I try to fly below any disciplinary radar as much as I can. What I didn't know was that all that flying below the radar had paid off; as had the efforts of a very determined, selfless doctor. 

I am now a full time, benefits eligible employee of Via Christi Clinic. I couldn't have asked for a better group of doctors to work for and nurses to work alongside. 

I will say, though, that the idea of working full time and being away from my babies has hit me hard. Babies grow up all too quickly, and I hate the fact that I will inevitably miss out on some of that growing while I'm at work. My sister, Maegan, watches the girls while Derek and I work, so they are obviously loved, cuddled, and spoiled all day long (and occasionally fed... Kidding sister!). For all that she does for us, we are incredibly lucky. It still stings to think about the milestones I may miss while I'm away.

What is fueling this overworked momma is knowing that I was given this opportunity for a reason. A very generous man lobbied for me FOR A REASON. Financially, Derek and I are in such a better place to start our adoption process. Other adoptive moms have had excellent luck with fundraisers. Or maybe they set up a successful Etsy shop. I truly believe that working full time is my ticket to financing this adoption. I am not turning a blind eye to this opportunity that has been given to me.

So.. Where are we now? Still in the initial application process. I expect this will take at least a month more. From there we will start our home study (yikes!) and begin the daunting paper chase known as international adoption. We have chosen Dillion International as our agency, and have had nothing but great interaction with them so far. I'm working on getting some letters rounded up from the rheumatologist, but wasn't able to get an appointment with her for another MONTH. Once I have all of the necessary documentation, we can send our application (and first set of fees) to the agency. 

Here's to hopefully seeing this skyline in the next 1-2 years! 

Time for a new post.

Embry blog. I've abandoned you again. You should be used to my abuse by now. 

My mind has been overflowing to the point that I don't know where to start writing. So I haven't written anything at all. Lets change that, starting... Now. 

Derek and I have news. News I am not ready to come out and share just yet, because there's a million reasons we may fail at what we hope to do. 

You know what? I've decided to just write it out. I'm not sure who I'm writing to (besides myself), but being afraid to fail isn't a reason to hide. Simple. 

Derek and I have decided to add a member to our family through adoption. Right now it still seems like a far fetched dream. There are so many unknowns in the adoption world, but picturing a FIFTH Embry in 2014s Christmas card has us pretty darn excited. Now matter how far fetched it seems right now.. Just knowing there's a slight possibility my girls might soon have a brother is motivation enough for me. 

And though this is something we believe we were meant/called/destined to do, we are so unsure if or when it will happen. The financial strain of an adoption seems impossible to overcome with two little ones at home already. Adoption is a rich mans game, I truly believe that. For a little perspective, the average cost of the program we have inquired about is $27,000.00. That's a lot of zeros. More zeros than our bank account can fathom right now. 

So... Where are we in this process? Right now we are in the very earliest of planning stages. I am reading a few books about adoption and scouring blogs for sources of encouragement. The many happy endings I have read about make me want to go out and sign up with an agency tomorrow. And then I remember the $5-6,00.00 we would initially need to do so. Back down to earth I come. We are taking a serious look at our finances and making some tough decisions. It's amazing how things you thought you wanted / needed can become so incredibly unimportant to you after you've obtained them. Changes are happening in the Embry household, and it's getting a little exciting. There's a red jar on our kitchen island with a few coins tossed in it. Step one of adoption fund raising. 

Feel free to come drop a few $100 bills in our jar while you're out. I promise we won't turn you down. We will pay you back in free hugs when Embry #5 makes their appearance. 

Enjoy the sister love for tonight. You're welcome. 

Unrest.

It's 12:30, middle of the night. Two precious girls have somehow snuggled in between mom and dad and mom should be sleeping. But I can't. 

Tonight I have a heavy heart. Heavy with thoughts of adding to our family. Derek and I have been discussing this very topic over the last few weeks, and we don't feel like we have any clear answers yet. With Claire and Nora, things were easy. We decided we wanted to have these precious babies, and we did. This time it's different. Things have changed for our family. 

I'm not sure where this will go. Maybe a year from now we will be holding a third baby Embry, or maybe we will just be enjoying the two littles we have today. Either way, we are a house overflowing with love. 

There's not much we are sure of at this point. The one thing Derek and I do know is that there is room in our hearts for another child. How (or if) that child becomes a part of our family is still unknown. 

Here's to clarity. And here's to getting some sleep once in awhile. 

Two years and a baby later..

Hello again blogtastic. You can give credit for my return to this little invention called the iPhone. Haven't been on your family blog for two years? There's an app for that. See: Blogger in the App Store. 

Why no posts in almost two years? Life. That's why. Oh, and a sweet little Nora girl who graced us with her presence this March. Shall we rewind and catch up on the last two years?

We blinked and Claire grew up. 

Just like that, she's a tiny mini me with her daddy's brown hair and my unique sense of... Independence. If I know one thing about my firstborn, it's that I'll never have to worry about her getting pushed around. It's just not. Going. To. Happen. My big girl (she's 2 now, for the record) is fiercely independent. She knows her ABCs, can count to 15, is working on potty training (insert nightmare here), rides her trike like a seasoned biker chick, navigates any Mac product better than her parents, and oh. This is a big one. Became a BIG SISTER. My baby isn't the baby anymore. 

So this happened. I became a momma, again. After nine long months of waiting, the fourth Embry joined the world. Nora Grace Embry was born on Wednesday, 3.13.13 at 7:35 am. Nothing will ever compare to seeing your baby for the first time. Seeing her literally took my breath away. As for dad, he didn't get his boy, but he got a tiny mini me. She's 99% Embry, which means she's already saving for Chiefs season tickets. Although she looks like Derek birthed her himself, she is my long awaited mommas girl. I can't say I'm too disappointed. 

Birth story to follow. Wait a minute... I don't think I've made good on that very promise I made two years ago when Claire was born, but I'm down to give it the old college try this time. 

A million other things have happened in the last two years- bought a house, bought a Keurig, changed jobs, changed underwear, met new friends, lost some friends, lost an organ, gained a few pounds, lost a few pounds, took a few naps, and changed 4,000 diapers. It all seems so frivolous when I think about the fact that I created a human being. There's a person here, tucked in bed next to me, all because of Derek and I. Life's pretty awesome like that. 

So, Embry blog.. Or whatever I will one day call you, I apologize for the leave of absence. I promise to do better this time. Just like I promised last time. Whoops. I've learned a very important lesson since we last talked. And that's that life will pass you by in the blink of an eye if you let it. So here's to stopping by every now and again, and leaving you with a few pieces of our today's that will soon enough be our yesterday's. 

Love, 

Mom Embry. 

Baby Rules.

When you're expecting your first child, it seems like anyone who spots the basketball hiding under your shirt immediately catches a case of word vomit and offers up all the parenting advice they can think of; This brand is better than that brand, get the baby on a schedule, don't drown the baby, etc... (I made that last one up. Apparently no one thought I should know that. Luckily, Claire is an excellent swimmer.) But I have to wonder, why is it no one gives advice about the biggest changes that you are about to turn your world upside down? No one tells you to appreciate every last moment alone you have with your husband, because those days are about to come to an abrupt end.

And no one tells you you're going to need more than diapers and bottles to get you through those first long nights. Being in the hospital with Claire for the first two weeks was a challenge I had no idea I would be faced with. I guess that's the first lesson in parenting. The baby makes the rules. You thought you had the power since you are the parent? Guess again. Baby rules. And in our case, the hospital staff rules. Since Claire had a feeding tube, she was on a strict every three hours feeding schedule. It was so different than I had imagined. I thought I would have a healthy, full term baby who I would breastfeed as soon as she was hungry. Instead I sat idly as the nurses gave her her first feedings from a syringe into a tube stuck down her nose. Where was all of the good advice then? I didn't remember anyone warning me about the overwhelming sense of loss I would feel when I wouldn't get to see my baby until she was a day old. Or that the first words I would hear after her birth would be "Start compressions" from the pediatrician. All the good advice in the world couldn't have prepared me for what was about to happen.

I don't want to sound ungrateful for all the advice I received while pregnant. Believe me, getting the baby on a schedule is a great goal to have and is something I hope to achieve in the next eighteen years or so. I just want to remind myself to give advice that I believe really matters.

Like go with the flow. Not everything (or anything, really) is going to turn out like you had planned- but you'll survive.

And don't forget to occasionally take a deep breath. And to exhale. And (if you can), grab a shower once in awhile. You'll hate yourself a whole lot less if you do that last one at least once a week.

Most importantly, never forget that Baby Rules.

But if you forget, baby will remind you.

Summa Summa-time.

It's June! And almost a month has gone by since my last post. In a way, I'm okay with that because it means my days and nights have been filled with cuddling and bottles and tantrums and sunscreen. You know, the good stuff.

Here's what the month of June has had in store.

• A visit from my super-duper amazing friend Melissa. Since she moved to Denver almost 2 years ago, I haven't got to see much of her and this makes me sad. :-( Friends as good as Melissa are hard to come by and I hate that she's so far away. But, I know she's living the dream in Denver and getting into all the trouble she can while she still has the chance. Live it up sister. That said, I'm still selfish and secretly hope some unforeseen circumstance will force her to return to the flatlands sometime soon. Just don't tell her I said that. :-)
• I got my first sewing machine (a big thanks to my Dad and Sonja for their shared love of bargain-hunting) and had my first sewing lesson! Very exciting for me, but not very successful. I'll just say that it's a work in progress, and I'm sure the process will provide lots of entertaining material for this blog. Sewing seems to have gotten much more difficult than when I made a pillowcase in fourth grade. But when I think about it, most things seem to have been simpler in the fourth grade. Would I ever go back, though? Not a chance! 
• Claire's first trip to the "spray park". Here's how that story goes... I spent two hours getting ready for this momentous event, and when we finally got there.... the spray park was out of commission! And I kid you not, there was a sign hanging on the fence that said to notify 911 if there happened to be an issue with the spray park. I can imagine that phone call... "Hello, 911 what's your emergency?" "Yes, I was calling because the spray park is broke......". Needless to say we didn't call 911, but instead decided we would try our luck another day. Who comes up with these things? 
• Claire had her first meal of semi-solid food! This in itself was quite an ordeal, so I will have to share another night when I've got the time to post pictures (and possibly video) of how things went down. She sure adds some drama to everything she does! I wonder where she gets that? Must be from her father. :-) 

Until next time!