HCO | Reece's Rainbow

International adoption is a funny thing. Well, I'm sure I'll think it's funny a year from now when I'm no longer in the midst of our current chaos.

If you've been following along, you know that last week we were told that our High Court Order was not going to be ready until late July (originally promised mid June), and to keep our timeline expectations low. So we did.

Here's where the funny part comes in. Monday morning we got the call that HCO had been issued. We were free to make travel arrangements. We are going to be bringing our son home in two short weeks! It was truly one of the biggest surprises of my life (and one of the best). For one reason or another, our High Court Order was already complete and everything is now in place for us to travel on the 17th. It's not exactly late July, but we will take it!

The 24 hours since finding this out has been a blur. We've booked flights and a hotel, sent off our itinerary requests, and asked ourselves if this is REALLY happening about a hundred times. Things are finally falling into place, and we are so very happy. I will finally get to wrap my son up in my arms and make up for all of the years we missed out on each other. It seems surreal to think that in a few short weeks, our son will finally be sleeping in his bed that has sat empty for over a year. Our hard work is FINALLY paying off!

We leave in ten short days, and are only $1,218 from being fully funded! To be fully funded, our Reece's Rainbow FSP would read $8,912. We were so incredibly lucky to have gotten a great deal on both our hotel and airfare, so our need is much less than we originally thought. If you would like to make a last minute tax deductible donation, just follow the Reece's Rainbow link on the side of this page. You will be able to make donations up until we arrive home.

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us, graciously donated towards our fundraisers, and to those who love our boy just as much as we do. Although this adoption has not been easy, it has absolutely been worth it. We are so excited to share this journey with you all and can't wait to start our life as a family of FIVE!

Another month. | Reece's Rainbow

Today, as I anxiously awaited the call that we had received the High Court Order, I instead got an email from our agency.

Another month.

From the mouth of the same person who told us to expect HCO in mid June, now comes news that we should HOPE for HCO at the END OF JULY. I can't tell you how many different emotions I am feeling today. None of them are emotions I thought I would have to experience again during this adoption.

 When I was a kid my step mom told me "You can endure anything as long as you know it will eventually end". I can't tell you how many times I thought this waiting was about to end, only to find out we have to wait a little longer. Each time I think my heart can't take any more waiting or any more disappointment, it seems like we get more bad news.

I can't explain how greatly I am mourning not having my son at home where he belongs. I know that this waiting will only make it that much sweeter when I do finally hold him in my arms, but my heart has grown weary.

And we wait. | Reece's Rainbow

In May we were told to expect travel approval in the middle of June. It is now June 23rd and still we wait with no end in sight. This means we are unable to book flights, hotel rooms, arrange childcare for the girls, house and pet sitters, etc. We were initially told to expect to travel at the end of this week, which is obviously not happening. At this point we have no real expectation of when we will travel. I could go on and on about the ways this has inconvenienced us, but what is truly upsetting to me is that our son continues to wait on the other side of the world while we (STILL) wait for someone to complete our paperwork. We have been assured there are no current delays, but considering the fact that we still don't have travel approval means that we are obviously delayed. For anyone adopting or planning to adopt internationally, I would say absolutely, with all certainty, DO NOT MOVE during your adoption. It has caused so many added expenses and delays beyond our comprehension and our son is the one paying for it. He is the one who continues to live in an institutional setting and not know his true worth as our son. We could have been home months ago, but our move has caused numerous delays and problems with this adoption. Had we seen all of this coming, it would have been a very difficult decision to proceed with our move.

We have been able to Skype with our little guy once a week for the last few weeks, which has been the only bright spot we have had lately. He loves his sisters and is a little scared of our big dog, we've learned.

I wish that I had a better update and that I wasn't writing with such a heavy heart. Yet, this is our reality and I wanted to share an honest picture of where things stand.

Also, I just wanted to say a special thanks to those of you who have continued to be there for us during this hard time. It is now when you find out who is really there for you, when things get messy and it's not exactly easy to be there for us. We have some really special friends and family who are helping us get through and I truly appreciate you fantastic human beings!

Preparing for Travel | Reece's Rainbow

It seems unreal that in a few short weeks we will be meeting our son. Not only are we just meeting our son, we're becoming parents again. To a BOY this time. To a child older than we've ever parented before. To a child with special needs. To a child who does not speak the same language as us. To a child who will go to school in the fall. Can you tell there are a few things on my mind these days?

We had the precious opportunity to meet him via Skype this week (!!!!!!). Words cannot express how great it feels to finally see your child and have him see you, and he didn't even run away and hide from the scary crying lady on the computer screen (he did, though, hang up on us once. We'll let that one slide). And to think our meeting almost didn't happen because I forgot a small detail (13 hour time difference) and had the completely wrong day on my calendar. Luckily we are blessed with the most amazing program director at our agency who literally got ahold of me from a tarmac to make sure the meeting happened. I will forever be grateful for her dedication to this process. Dillon International, y'all. Could not have asked for better people in our corner.

So more about our meeting! I heard the words "My mommy" (in English!) within the first thirty seconds of the call, and it was so surreal. I know that he was likely prepped for our meeting by the social worker, but just to know that this boy is opening his heart to us is such an amazing feeling. There are some children who have no desire to be adopted, so hearing his excitement in meeting us was very reassuring. Claire was so enthralled with her new brother, as he was with her! He kept asking her to dance with him (how did he know she was the dance master?) and he went crazy when he got to see his dog, Ozzy (our 100 pound Bernese Mountain Dog). I loved to see the interaction between the kids and hope we keep that momentum going when he gets home.

Although the last two years have gone by at snail speed, it seems like the last month has went by in the blink of an eye and now we are only weeks away from traveling. We are starting to do things like buy travel necessities and make pre-travel to do lists. Everything is finally feeling real! We also have been attacking the daunting task of searching for flights and choosing a hotel. Although we would jump on a plane tomorrow if they told us to, I would have picked a better (cheaper, cooler) time of year to travel had it been up to us. We will hopefully be traveling around the fourth of July, and I find it so fitting that our newest little American will be arriving home around then. :-)

We have lots of odds and ends to finish before we go, but our biggest hurdle to jump is a financial one. With flights around the fourth of July being so high, we are working around the clock to bring in any extra money we can, and we still have our Reece's Rainbow fundraising site up (our page will become inactive when we head home). To be fully funded for our current expenses (as long as flights don't go up too much more than they have), our FSP (Reece's Rainbow page) would need to read $11,220.35. We are currently at $6,975.35, which means we are $4,245 from reaching our goal. With only a few short weeks to meet it, we are having to put our faith in God that things will fall into place. We don't have any more fundraisers planned since we are leaving in such a short amount of time, but Derek is still busy detailing as many cars as he can when he gets home from work each day. I have stopped doing any photo sessions for now, since I am only doing them on the weekends and we have events every weekend until we plan to leave. If you would like to help us get closer to our goal, you can make a tax deductible donation at:

http://www.ReecesRainbow.org/SponsorEmbry

We are so grateful for the support of our friends and family that have helped us get to this point. It is because of you all that we have made it this far. We are excited for what our future holds and can't wait to share it with you!

The Ugly Cry | Reece's Rainbow

We have news. Finally. After months of silence and waiting and anxiety and feeling all sorts of other feels... we have news.

It came via email as I brushed my teeth yesterday morning. I got an alert that I had an email from our agency on my phone, and I felt ZERO urgency in reading it. I was assuming it would be another email checking in to see how we were handling the wait, and I just didn't want to allow myself to go there again. I finished up getting ready and decided to see what they had to say. Within the first line of the email, I knew. This was the news we have been waiting (and waiting, and waiting) for! It took about three more seconds before I literally fell to my knees crying the happiest tears I have ever cried. And it was an ugly cry. Unfortunately for Claire and Nora, they had to witness my pitifulness, and they were NOT impressed. Nora yelled "stop crying mom!" per her usual bossiness, and Claire was so concerned that her mother was having a complete breakdown in front of her that she just stood silently with her arms around me. I was finally able to mutter the words "brother is coming home" to the girls, and they started an equally historical happy dance around me as I sat in a puddle of my own tears in the hallway. I can honestly say that I have cried the ugly cry better than any of those actresses on Grey's Anatomy. Take that, Meredith Grey.

What I learned from the email (that I can share), is that we are expected to receive the High Court Order in mid-June, and will be traveling to Hong Kong to pick up OUR SON (!) in late June - early July. We are so excited, relieved, happy, anxious and ready! We get to meet him via Skype in the coming days, which comes with its own set of emotions.

We have about $3,500 to raise before we leave, so if any of our friends or family have any awesome, easy, profitable fundraising ideas we could do in the next month, let me know! That's not asking too much, right? ;-) The easiest way to help us is to help spread the word, though. Our tax deductible fundraising site is:

www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorembry

We can only fundraise with Reece's Rainbow until we go on our trip (even though our legal costs continue after we are home), so we are going to try very hard to get the final amount raised before then. Our friends and families have been so great in supporting us through this process, and we know we couldn't have made it this far without all of you good people! In a few short weeks, we will have a son, and he will have a family (complete with two crazy little sisters). It's so bittersweet to think this process is coming to an end, but we have lots left to accomplish before we become a family. If you're still reading, thanks for hanging in there with us these last two years. But.. I can assure you- our story is really just beginning.

An update because it's World Down Syndrome Day! | Reece's Rainbow

I've done it again. I've neglected this blog of mine, even after I promised myself I'd be a big girl and update at least monthly. I think it's safe to say that my goal was a little optimistic. This season of life has kept us on our very tired tippy toes. There are a million things I could update on, so I will keep it short (ha) and to the point (probably not).

We sold our house and moved to our new one in December. None of that would have been possible without the help of our realtor/guardian angel Kathy. Seriously. She saved me from many a mental breakdowns during both the home buying and selling processes. We moved to a sixties ranch that is only a few houses from both my mom and Derek's parents. The turquoise tile bathroom stole my heart, and NO, that's not sarcasm you're sensing. Honestly, we weren't sure how the living in such close quarters to both parents thing would go, but it has been nothing but a blessing thus far (love you grandparents!). There's nothing like a true sense of community, which is something we felt was lacking in our last neighborhood. I guess it helps when you're neighbors are the very people who brought you in to this world. So, for now, we're loving it. I hope in a year from now we are still able to say the same thing. 😊

The girls are doing great and growing way too fast for this baby-stage loving mom. Claire recently turned four and Nora turned two, so naturally my body is screaming MORE BABIES! I then have to quiet the crazy and remind myself we are expecting, but our baby is coming wrapped as a seven year old rather than one in diapers. I'm still equally as excited for the arrival of our new bundle of joy!

The adoption world has not exactly been kind to us the last few months, but I still think we have had it pretty easy compared to a lot of families. Since October we have gotten Matching Approval (yay!), then Article 5, and we are now waiting on the FINAL step, which is the High Court Order (aka approval to travel to Hong Kong and bring our son home). After Article 5, it takes about ten weeks to receive the HCO. Since we received Article 5 in December, we thought maybe we would get HCO in March. We were so, very wrong. On February 24th (one day shy of ten weeks since receiving Article 5), we found out that the Adoption Unit would not start our HCO wait until they received our updated home-study from our social worker. Unfortunately, what we thought would be a quick home study update has not been what we'd consider "quick". It's been three and a half months since we've moved, and we still haven't heard back if our home study update has been approved on the Hong Kong side of things. Until we hear back, they will not start our HCO wait. If I've lost you by now, that means we aren't traveling for a few more months, which will put us in prime tourist season when travel costs double (seriously. double. I've checked). I'm trying so very hard to find the silver lining to this cloud, I really am. Any pointers would be greatly appreciated at this point, because I'm starting to feel like that frantic pregnant woman who is 68 weeks past her due date and will do anything to get the baby out. I'm just ready to meet my son. I'm ready to start our lives as a family of five. I'm ready to quit hanging in this limbo that it seems no one can relate to (unless they've hung there themselves). I'm ready to be done stretching every dollar we have to pay for adoption expenses. But yet here we are, and I've got to try and make the best of every day for the sake of our family.

On to some excellent news, we've been selected as one of the five families to receive a grant from the 5/5/5 for families organization through Reece's Rainbow. I really would encourage you to hop on over to their page and find out a little more about what amazing things a group of adoptive moms is doing. The short version is - they help 5 families on the 5th of every month by encouraging people to make a $5 donation to the grant. It is SO encouraging to know we are not alone at the end of this process as we face a huge hike in travel expenses. You still have time to donate if you feel the cause is worthy, and can do so here:

• http://reecesrainbow.org/78491/555-for-families

Last thing, promise (extra points if you're still reading..)! Today is WORLD DOWN SYNDROME DAY (3/21), and we'd love it if you'd spend a minute or two educating yourself on what it's like to live with Down Syndrome. Check out Megan's message about setting limits for people with disabilities
here:

http://youtu.be/YOwDfnoek6E

If this were a pregnancy...

We are now in our ninth month of this adoption. If this were a pregnancy, I'd be counting down the days until we headed to the hospital to meet our new bundle of joy. Instead, I'm counting down the MONTHS until we even have approval to go meet our son. Our agency recently told us the next step will take between 3 and 10 months, and there's nothing we need to do besides WAIT. All the while, he will be transferred yet again when school starts this fall. If this were a pregnancy, I'd have the right to say you aren't moving my baby ANYWHERE that I'm not. Instead we're at the mercy of the system and have to sit by idly while he is moved to yet another unfamiliar setting.

I guess it's a mother's instinct that makes me want to hop on a plane right now and just go get him. Forget the red tape and the fundraising and the waiting. I'm just ready to be a mom to this sweet, sweet son of mine. His little sister, Claire, is getting mighty impatient as well (can't imagine where she would have gotten that from). It's getting harder and harder to explain to her three year old self that adoption is hard. It's not like when we went to the hospital and little sister magically appeared, nicely swaddled and already with our last name.

And to think, I thought a c-section was rough?

If this were a pregnancy, no one would question our monthly income. Our ability to be excellent parents. Our square footage. Our charitable giving. Our criminal records. Our religious beliefs. And I'm guessing no one would question our sexuality, either. Not that I'm saying our little man isn't worth ALL of that, it just starts to weigh heavily on a momma's heart when we've been at it this long with nothing to show for it besides a nervous "Things are moving right along" when asked about our adoption. At the beginning of this process, I thought to myself "a longer process means more time to raise the money for the adoption". At this point, I would sell the last thing I owned if it meant I could just go get him. I foolishly underestimated how much of a struggle it would be to know our son is waiting because paperwork takes months, even years, to process. Paperwork. Someone please sign on that magical dotted line so we can start our lives as a family of five. 

I know I may sound bitter. Or ungrateful. Or whiney. But have you ever imagined being pregnant for 18 months straight? I've seen the gotcha day videos on Youtube. I know our day is coming. It's the time between now and then that I'm really struggling with. It's when I'm loving Claire and Nora through a week long flu and wonder who is there to do the same thing for our boy until we can. Some days aren't so bad. Some days I'm filled with excitement and determination. Other days I cry when I think of him facing this big world all alone. But today, I'm just in between, because I have to be. And I'm trying with all my might to not think what it would be like if this were a pregnancy. 

Dossier Submitted

Yesterday we hit another milestone in our adoption journey. We received word from Dillon that our dossier had been SUBMITTED! It feels so, so satisfying to finally say that. Some of you may be wondering what that even means, and the short answer is this- we sent a big ole' stack of papers to Hong Kong to make sure they like us. It means other things, of course, but my adoption fried brain is all out of juice for now.

We also submitted our i800a (Application For Determination of Suitability To Adopt a Child From a Convention Country), which the USCIS has received, and we are waiting for our fingerprinting appointment as of right now. Although we've already been fingerprinted once at the county level (hello Harvey County jail, nice to meet you), we need to be finger-printed again at the USCIS, super official, FBI, Law and Order, Judge Joe Brown level. So basically, does the US government think we're good enough people to adopt?

With all of these governments deciding if we'll make good parents or not, I'm revisiting that issue myself.

Parenthood looks a whole lot different this time around.

We won't be checking in for our scheduled c-section at the hospital less than a mile from our house. Instead, we'll be hopping on a plane and flying 7,789 miles to meet a child who may or may not be happy about our arrival. We've been told T doesn't care much for adults he doesn't know (insert- us).  That's not such a pleasant scenario to imagine, but I do it more often that I should. I picture our first meeting going something like this.

-"Hi, we're you're parents. Nice to meet you." (Insert complete emotional break down here).
-T throws chairs/tables/Cheerios in our general direction. Gives us the evil eye.
-We sink further into the emotional break down already in progress and the orphanage staff escort us out (throwing our dossier at us as we leave).

SEE WHAT THIS PROCESS DOES TO ME?! I'm a worrier by nature, but this is a whole new ball game. I'm still sane enough to know the above scenario (while somewhat possible), is manageable and is probably going to go a hundred times better than I picture it now.

It all comes down to "Are we going to be good parents to this child?". I am going give it to God at this point, because I know he led us here and he won't let us fail our (His) son. I'm going to stick to worrying about things I have control over, like bedding choices. Which, I'm happy to say, have been chosen. Here's a few photos to end this rambling post once again. Thanks for sticking it out with me.

New bed from my recent trip to Ikea in Colorado, and bedding that conveniently arrived from Pottery Barn while I was gone (it's obviously the little things for me)!

-Notice the "Toothless" Build-A-Bear the girls made for their big bro next to the pillow. The sound inside his hand is Claire saying "I love you brother", but it sounds more like "I love you bbbbutter bell". Can't wait to be at the point we can send him a package!

And finally, kuddos to Husband who (without too much complaining) made trips here, there and everywhere so we could get our paperwork sent out on time. This is when we were mailing our i800. Here's to continued progress and interior design!

Love,

M.

Thank you.

We want to say thanks.

Thanks to you, our t-shirt fundraiser has been hugely successful. When we started, I had no idea if we would sell 10 shirts or 100.

We are nearing our 300th order. Blessed would be a good word to describe how we feel right now. And a little flabbergasted. 

Orders have come in from all over the country, and I hear we even have an order headed to Holland. It's pretty darn awesome to think Down Syndrome Awareness is being spread around the world. When you wear your new, completely awesome t-shirt, I hope people ask questions. I hope you can say with conviction that individuals with Down Syndrome are just like you and I. And you're proud to know someone with an extra chromosome. Or you're proud to know a family adopting a child with Down Syndrome. Because Down Syndeome is THAT awesome, that families are willing to cross oceans to make someone with DS a part of their family. Or maybe YOU have Down Syndrome. Spread that joy. Rock that extra chromosome. 

Your t-shirt purchase isn't just helping us bring our babies home from far away lands. It's giving you the opportunity to make Down Syndrome awareness catch on like wildfire (thank you John Mayer) Awareness = Acceptance. Please, when you wear your new shirt, remember that.

And keep calm, it's just an extra chromosome.  

Thank you. 

ETA: To get YOUR shirt, email 321awareness@gmail.com with your order. Shirts are only $12 and will be delivered in time for World Down Syndrome day.