Depraved Indifference

Sitting in a Subway parking lot last year, I felt my heart break. Literally. I felt physical pain in my chest. I couldn't stop from feeling this overwhelming sense of hurt, longing, and certainty all at the same time. Someone was trying to tell me something and I was finally ready to listen.

Once our eyes are open, we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. 

My entire life I've never been asked to do anything by God. Never. I've lived 25 selfish years only asking for God's help when I needed it. Never asking what I could do for him. And never felt an ounce of regret for my ignorance.  Does that sound silly, coming from me? Make you a little uncomfortable, because that's just not who I, Michelle Embry, am? Maybe. That day in a Subway parking lot, God made sure I saw this video. God made sure I knew that THAT day, he was asking something of us. That day, Tyson, our future son, was born in my heart. 

If you have a few minutes, watch this video. It literally changed my life. What was once just an idea in my head was suddenly the very thing I was put on this earth to do. It's the reason I married Derek. It's the reason Claire and Nora are our daughters. It's the reason I'm a nurse. Tyson buddy, we are coming for you. Godspeed little man. 

http://youtu.be/UWHJ6-YhSYQ

Depraved indifference. Now that you've seen, you can't unsee. Am I hoping you'll decide that adoption is for you after watching this video? No. Am I hoping you'll listen to God when he comes knocking? Yes. And he will come knocking. As I've said before, adoption isn't the only way to have a heart for oprhans. Advocate. Donate. Pray. If it moves you, share this story. It was because someone that I knew shared this video with me that my eyes were opened. Maybe this post makes another mom out there consider adoption. Maybe it motivates you to donate. Maybe that donation helps get a family FULLY FUNDED. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe I'm just writing to myself and this story reaches no one. And that's ok. Because I know God is bigger than me. 

And He will come knocking. 

**Just an afterthought. Yes, we are applying to adopt a boy, and we plan to name him Tyson. No, we haven't yet been officially matched and Tyson is just an "idea" in our heads right now. Somehow we are so sure of something that is completey UNsure. That's the funny thing about adoption. It's not up to us.