Baby Rules.

When you're expecting your first child, it seems like anyone who spots the basketball hiding under your shirt immediately catches a case of word vomit and offers up all the parenting advice they can think of; This brand is better than that brand, get the baby on a schedule, don't drown the baby, etc... (I made that last one up. Apparently no one thought I should know that. Luckily, Claire is an excellent swimmer.) But I have to wonder, why is it no one gives advice about the biggest changes that you are about to turn your world upside down? No one tells you to appreciate every last moment alone you have with your husband, because those days are about to come to an abrupt end.

And no one tells you you're going to need more than diapers and bottles to get you through those first long nights. Being in the hospital with Claire for the first two weeks was a challenge I had no idea I would be faced with. I guess that's the first lesson in parenting. The baby makes the rules. You thought you had the power since you are the parent? Guess again. Baby rules. And in our case, the hospital staff rules. Since Claire had a feeding tube, she was on a strict every three hours feeding schedule. It was so different than I had imagined. I thought I would have a healthy, full term baby who I would breastfeed as soon as she was hungry. Instead I sat idly as the nurses gave her her first feedings from a syringe into a tube stuck down her nose. Where was all of the good advice then? I didn't remember anyone warning me about the overwhelming sense of loss I would feel when I wouldn't get to see my baby until she was a day old. Or that the first words I would hear after her birth would be "Start compressions" from the pediatrician. All the good advice in the world couldn't have prepared me for what was about to happen.

I don't want to sound ungrateful for all the advice I received while pregnant. Believe me, getting the baby on a schedule is a great goal to have and is something I hope to achieve in the next eighteen years or so. I just want to remind myself to give advice that I believe really matters.

Like go with the flow. Not everything (or anything, really) is going to turn out like you had planned- but you'll survive.

And don't forget to occasionally take a deep breath. And to exhale. And (if you can), grab a shower once in awhile. You'll hate yourself a whole lot less if you do that last one at least once a week.

Most importantly, never forget that Baby Rules.

But if you forget, baby will remind you.