Summer Staycation

Adoption means no family vacation to the beach, or the mountains, or really anywhere that would require us to stay overnight in a hotel. We call it the "adoption budget" in our house, and nothing escapes it. Although a week at the beach sounds absolutely FANTASTIC right now, we were pleasantly surprised our staycation to Lindsborg, Kansas was also FANTASTIC. It was a quick hours drive from our house and we were done by the time the little ladies had reached the end of their short fuses. I could go on, but I'll just tell you the rest in pictures. Enjoy!


We stopped along the side of the road to check out these horses who were just begging for attention. Ok, maybe that was actually my kids.

This guy thought he'd be hilarious and play charades with us. We totally didn't mind.

 Turns out, he didn't really want to play charades. He just didn't know if he was really a dog or a horse and frankly, didn't care.

 Hilarity ensued.

At one point I think I heard him say "I'm too old for this identity crisis".

 Finally. Success.

 Our first stop on the 2014 Embry Staycation - Coronado Heights

Big sister always has her point and shoot in tow. I can't pretend this doesn't totally make my heart sing!!

The littlest one was quite the fearless explorer.

 Kansas views. Can't beat em.

Cheese mom!

 Aaaaand there it is. Wouldn't be a va(stay)cation without a massive fit!

Taking one last look!

 Lindsborg, KS has possibly the best kids park. Ever. Really. Check it out local moms!

 Love these lovies.

 Derek tried to make small talk with one of the little guys in the background of this picture. He asked if there were any good restaurants in Lindsborg. One of them rattled off several option, ultimately recommending the Sweedish Crown. Derek asked if it were better than McDonald's. His response, "I don't know. My mom's a nutritionist and we've never eaten there". We proceeded to feel like horrible parents the rest of the day.

 This one has a new nickname - "Copperhead" (all credit goes to dad on this one)

We love HAIR in this family!

 Thanks for tuning in, folks. Hope you've enjoyed this staycation as much as we did!

If this were a pregnancy...

We are now in our ninth month of this adoption. If this were a pregnancy, I'd be counting down the days until we headed to the hospital to meet our new bundle of joy. Instead, I'm counting down the MONTHS until we even have approval to go meet our son. Our agency recently told us the next step will take between 3 and 10 months, and there's nothing we need to do besides WAIT. All the while, he will be transferred yet again when school starts this fall. If this were a pregnancy, I'd have the right to say you aren't moving my baby ANYWHERE that I'm not. Instead we're at the mercy of the system and have to sit by idly while he is moved to yet another unfamiliar setting.

I guess it's a mother's instinct that makes me want to hop on a plane right now and just go get him. Forget the red tape and the fundraising and the waiting. I'm just ready to be a mom to this sweet, sweet son of mine. His little sister, Claire, is getting mighty impatient as well (can't imagine where she would have gotten that from). It's getting harder and harder to explain to her three year old self that adoption is hard. It's not like when we went to the hospital and little sister magically appeared, nicely swaddled and already with our last name.

And to think, I thought a c-section was rough?

If this were a pregnancy, no one would question our monthly income. Our ability to be excellent parents. Our square footage. Our charitable giving. Our criminal records. Our religious beliefs. And I'm guessing no one would question our sexuality, either. Not that I'm saying our little man isn't worth ALL of that, it just starts to weigh heavily on a momma's heart when we've been at it this long with nothing to show for it besides a nervous "Things are moving right along" when asked about our adoption. At the beginning of this process, I thought to myself "a longer process means more time to raise the money for the adoption". At this point, I would sell the last thing I owned if it meant I could just go get him. I foolishly underestimated how much of a struggle it would be to know our son is waiting because paperwork takes months, even years, to process. Paperwork. Someone please sign on that magical dotted line so we can start our lives as a family of five. 

I know I may sound bitter. Or ungrateful. Or whiney. But have you ever imagined being pregnant for 18 months straight? I've seen the gotcha day videos on Youtube. I know our day is coming. It's the time between now and then that I'm really struggling with. It's when I'm loving Claire and Nora through a week long flu and wonder who is there to do the same thing for our boy until we can. Some days aren't so bad. Some days I'm filled with excitement and determination. Other days I cry when I think of him facing this big world all alone. But today, I'm just in between, because I have to be. And I'm trying with all my might to not think what it would be like if this were a pregnancy.